Mood: Happy
Music: Little Dragon - Constant Surprises
How life never fails to surprise you... After 22 years of being alive and trying to figure things out, things are starting to fall into place. Identity is a decision, which includes removing oneself from denying their true nature, but inevitably ones identity is a conscious decision to adhere to your beliefs and mores. My sister told me once that all you have in this life are your word and your balls - break them for no one. Amen.
A few weeks ago I felt like my world was yet again on the verge of falling apart. So alone, so lost, and so terribly uncertain of anything. No longer. I really think the universe is trying to tell me something, and I'm gladly listening; This month's class is audiotronics ie the study, creation and maintenance of electronics, particularly audio electronics. Now I can tell you that I was excited for this class before I even had it, but after the 1st day, I could not have been happier. I think I've found my calling. Creating effects? Cabling? Amplifiers? Working on creating things with a solid scientific understanding and good old manual labor - I have not been happier soldering cables since the days when I would lock myself in the basement for hours as a 7 year old building model airplanes, then later on modding warhammer figurines. I should have seen this from the beginning! And to think my first major was really supposed to be electrical engineering. Funny how things come full circle. I've even reconsidered taking up electrical engineering after degree here at Full Sail. Lets see how this all pans out. For now I'm that geeky guy laughing at the corny electronics jokes that the instructors make that no one else finds funny. (Man to a girl... are you feeling like a variable or fixed resistor today? LOL)
And its so much more than that... little things have bolstered my faith in the world. The donation drive for ondoy and succeeding typhoons is still ongoing at school. I'm encouraged by the students who have chosen to participate and am thankful for their actions. Last nights benefit concert (Gary V a wave of hope) at the N. Florida Hospital Church was also a great success, and was quite touching, personally. Was also nice to be around family.. But more importantly, I'm glad jaded layers are falling away one by one from this heart. Compassion flows again.
As for the universe and its plans, its truly a small world. I have a friend I met named John Novotny, who was neighbors with my buddies evan and travis, but moved to another house nearby. Anyways, only recently I added him on facebook and learned what his lastn ame was, and that he was from Pennsylvania... Novotny I said to myself... I only know one Novotny from PA, and thats Bob Novotny, my dads good friend who sold us our white ML Mercedes (the first in Pennsylvania in 1997!) and worked at Carson-Petit motors. Low and behold I asked John if he knew a Bob Novotny. It's his dad. My dad and him reconnected and had a long long long talk (apparently Bob disappeared) and they were both so happy to hear from each other after all these years. And John and I had never met. I don't even know why I remembered his last name. But whaddya know. Grabe.
Suddenly, after having so many questions about where to go and what to do, the possibilities are endless, and I'm making my own road. I'm trying to start my own business - I've already done the numbers and initial research, as well as contacted investors. I'm even having business cards made - I hope the designer accepts the job, it would be a shame to settle for anything less than the best. But I am definitely excited. And it all makes sense now. I don't really think too hard anymore or worry. I trust that the universe will put me exactly at the right place at the right time... not to say that I'm not taking initiative, I am, and I will... But there is a peace internally that I'm only beginning to understand now. And wow, can I just say that it's so easy to wake up in the morning when you're excited about life? Nothing else matters. I can only hope for bigger and better things. This is my time, and I'm thankful for it. See you on the other side.
